Another update

First, thanks to the people who replied to my last post, I think three replies is a blog record for me ;-)

So Blaine is definitely moving out this weekend. He's got a new apartment that will be really close to work, which will be good for him.

Happily we have two sets of nearly everything (living room furniture, bedroom furniture, dishes, utensils, etc.), although we don't have two dining sets. However, I was copied on an email blast from someone in my ward's RS who was looking to get rid of her dining set - so a total score for me. I managed to check my email a minute or two after she sent it, so I was totally the first one to call. Yay! It even comes with a china cabinet with the half on top glass shelves with a mirrored back. I've been dying to get a curio cabinet, but this will work too.

People keep asking me how I'm doing, and honestly it changes from hour to hour. When I'm not thinking about it, I'm not too bad, but it's been more and more on my mind lately with Blaine moving out on Saturday. Mostly I've been really sad. Doing missionary and service stuff has definitely helped get me out of my own head to stop moping around, but it's getting harder and harder to distract myself now that his moving out is getting closer. We submitted the initial paperwork to the court earlier in the week, and that didn't bug me nearly as much as him moving out for some reason. Maybe because I do paperwork all day for a living and it's gotten pretty meaningless at this point, but living alone freaks me out.

Anyway, I'm lucky that Blaine and I are amicable, his family still likes me, everyone I've told has been understanding and supportive, and I have good friends and family to be there for me.

I plan to keep this blog updated with the general status-type things that are going on with the divorce since people ask me all the time, and I'd rather not have it plastered all over Facebook, since this is slightly more anonymous, although the blog is linked from Facebook. But as always, if you have questions let me know.

It's official

So, for anyone that hasn't heard the news yet, Blaine and I are officially getting divorced. We talked to the lawyer yesterday, and the legal paperwork has been begun.

We've been having a tough time for a while, but I'd thought we were doing better. I went out to visit his sisters for Craft weekend July 31-Aug 3, and on Monday night Aug. 4 was when he told me he really did want to go through with a divorce. I was in town Tuesday, and then flew out first thing Wednesday morning to go to my sister's reception in Phoenix. It was nice to be with my family for such an emotional time.

It's now been two weeks, and I'm in a better phase of the grief process.

Stages of grief:

1. Denial: "Nothing's wrong, we're fine, I don't know what you're talking about. This can't be happening to me. When I wake up tomorrow, this will have been a dream."
2. Anger: "How could you do this to me???"
3. Bargaining: "Just work on it with me, we can do this if we both work on it together" (well, more about that another time)
4. Depression: "I don't want to be alone, no one will want me, life just isn't worth living"
5. Acceptance: "It's going to be ok, I can do this, maybe it is for the best"

I've made it up to 5, with the occasional regression back to 4.

So, as of now, Blaine will be moving down to the San Jose area to be by work. I'll stay in the house for a few months until we can sort our piles of stuff down to a manageable size, and then I'll move to a one bedroom apartment in the area to stay by my job.

The plan is for Blaine to take Maggie, and I'll take Peeves.

My current quandry is whether to keep my married name, or go back to my maiden name. We don't have kids, but my career (what there has been of it) has all been with my married last name. So confusing.

Anyway, if anyone has questions, etc, feel free to ask.

subscribing to this blog

So, apparently bloglet has been out of commision for a couple of years now... and no one told me. I guess that means whoever was subscribed to it before really didn't care that much!! Anyway, for anyone that feels the need to re-subscribe with a new service, there's a FeedBurner link in the right hand margin of the blog which should be functional. Google owns FeedBurner, so hopefully it won't disappear in the night on me...

Updates for 2008

So, happy day in our family, my husband starts his new job today! He's been nothing short of miserable in his last job, which has been sad for him, and also sad for me since it's no fun being married to someone that irritable. We had moved out to California because of how wonderful of a job opportunity it sounded like, and it's been hard to see him as more and more promises were broken, and the situation there was more and more uncomfortable. Happily, this new job seems right up his alley. The company is a large one, so they've got great benefits, and overall seem like a good place to work. His commute will stay about the same, so that's good. He won't have to cross any bridges now, though, so that's $4/day raise right there!

Speaking of the benefits, the appear to cover infertility treatments, so we'll be firing up that machine again. We've got 5 embryos still in storage out east at our old facility, and it'll be easy enough to get them transferred out here (apparently FedEx really WILL ship anything!) and do a couple of rounds of FET. The only problem with that is I'm pretty apprehensive about stopping my fibromyalgia drugs and starting the fertility ones again. I'm really not looking forward to doing shots and bloodwork, that was so miserable. On the plus side, the facility is a sister clinic with the place I used to go to, and their location is right by work, so it'll be convenient.

And as a reminder to myself, I should probably post something about the newest fibromyalgia drugs I've tried recently. We are trying the neural inhibitor ones (Lyrica and Neurontin), with limited success so far. The Lyrica worked, but had unacceptable side effects. The Neurontin we're taking it slower, and no side effects yet, but no really noticible benefits either. No notable flareups though, so I'll be thankful for that at least.

Spring is here and I love it. Took some pictures of our rosebushes in the backyard yesterday, got some lovely pictures.

RIP Joshua Calvin Bunch

Feb. 5, 1920 - Feb. 4, 2008